Lost soul. That's me lately. Blushing. Flustered. Hesitant. Uncertain. Afraid. After all these years I thought that everything is going somewhere in my life. Only to find out one day that one is stagnant. My soul. It yearns for a lot things that I somehow want to receive. I know I am blessed. I know I am being loved. But sometimes a portion of my soul is hungry on some things. I feel mine needs nourishment.

Sweet nothings. After hearing from a friend that he'll surprise his girlfriend on her birthday and asked my help which flowers he should buy. My brain suddenly freezes and my heart quivers. I just end up uttering, "you're so sweet!". He is my contemporary in arts and zodiac, so I will not wonder if an artist and a typical taurean like him is very thoughtful. Sigh. sigh. sigh. Feeling depressed. I just felt that this 29 year old lady is the same 19 year old girl that blushes with flowers, giggles with chocolates and touched by love letters. Which I don't experience for ages. Nourish me with those and pamper me with affection. Would you please. I am a visual person please help me see those things.

My space. Been two years or more since I last pressed the keyboard to type all my emotions regarding doubts and heartaches. Do I still need that space? all the while I thought I totally forgot about that. Please don't remind me that I have those. I know I am in the state of happiness and contentment but I am just a lost soul now. Please help me find myself again.

warm hugs,
-joan